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  • David Vass


2024 begins and to all who support my book, my play, my POD video, thank you and I hope this New Year brings each of you untold riches and merriment! Oh, and great health, those first two don’t mean much without that last one…

This is short (I know, unlike me, right?) and to the point. I HATE ‘the Woke Movement’.

It began as a positive-raising consciousness and suggesting thoughtful thinking and attempts to balance inequities movement. Sounded great; I was ‘in’. Shortly thereafter, it started. The movement quickly morphed (warped is more like it) into what I can only call self-serving censorship and lazy, self-entitled thinking.

We writers and comedians were the first ones in the line of fire. ‘Can’t use this word, can’t use that word’. Never mind HOW the word is used, you just can’t use it because someone might be too stupid or have such a short attention span from social media, they can’t hear the word used in context. They just hear the word and think the worst. So many of these current ‘woke’ people cherry-pick their lazy brains, ignoring the way the word is used.

Now I’m watching comedians and writers (like me) walking on eggshells, being cancelled off the college circuit for entertainment, having editors push back that ‘that part of the narrative’ might be interpreted as _________ ( fill in the blank ).

I’m over it, and it saddens me to see those who have ‘made it’, dance around words they used, want to use, should use – that is a fear-based dance and it’s not pretty. I know the biggies have staff to support and if they lose work / gigs/ bookings/ publishing deals for their routines and writing, the financial impact around them is like a pebble in the center of a lake.

So here are David’s F*** Woke New Year Resolutions:

  1. If you think you might require stewing over 14 pronouns to figure out who you are – there is a medication for it, Mr. or Ms. or ‘Them’ schizophrenic – get over yourself. And you are not and will never be a question mark.

  2. Stop writing a word with one letter and a bunch of *******s. I am not a f***** - I am a faggot. A word is a word is a word. If you aren’t using it as a hateful slur, use the fucking word, this faggot could give a shit. If you are using it nasty and mean-spirited, I still hear the word in my head while you think you are clever, you stupid, lazy, bigoted thinker.

  3. Don’t tell me what I can and can’t say. I take responsibility for the words I use, and they are used for a reason. Don’t like it? Don’t read my books, don’t hang out with me, don’t purchase a ticket to my show. OK? Don’t be s***** = don’t be stupid. Use your brain and listen to the context in which words get used. Remember the First Amendment?

  4. If you are ‘that kind’ of Woke, for the love of all that is sacred, go back to sleep!

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